So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
