Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
