I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
