it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
