Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
