so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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