OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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