remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
