"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
