if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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