i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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