You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
