just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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