Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
