Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize