Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
