Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
