I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
