ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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