If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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