you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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