NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
