he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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