WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am naked and annoyed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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