I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
