why didn't you poke me back
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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