Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
