Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
