It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Someone shattered a urinal.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize