drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize