I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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