Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
