He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
