Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize