So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
