It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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