im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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