So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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