I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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