i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Success! We fucked roommates!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize