when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
