the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
