doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize