what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
