you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
