It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
