Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Mom said you looked used
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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