i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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