The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
