your thong is hanging out like whoa
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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