My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
