In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
