she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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