She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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