Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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