is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
