but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize