Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
