I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
