I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
