omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How naked do you want me to be?
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