it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize