I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
