I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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