I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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