just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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