dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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