So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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