he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
